If you clicked here, you're trying desperately to avoid doing real work. Check out these amusing/entertaining/totally metal links in the meantime:

Link Numero Uno - My old rock band, The Crazy Ivans. Their shit is METAL!! And speaking of metal, check out the bad-ass thrash metal band Exmortus. There are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of bands named after books or literary characters... but as far as I know, this is the first time in history a book was named after a band.

Link Numero Dos - I was going to put a link to my now-defunct campaign website, toddfortexas.com, but eff that noise. Instead, here are the three (of over a dozen planned) videos that we actualy pulled off. We aimed high, and whiffed, but I'm still proud of our vids.

Link Numero Tres- There's no easy way to scroll through this unfortunately, but here are the hundreds (thousands?) of hockey, movie, football and music articles I've written for TexasGigs/Pegasus News since I joined the Dark Side on Valentine's Day 2006. EDIT: as of Feb 2014, the DMN has seen fit to completely eliminate any trace of Pegasus News and its 1000s of articles. Which seems odd considering we were one of the bare shreds of actually-profitable pieces of that failing company, and that they had just spend six figures purchasing us, but I guess that's why I'm not in charge of a large corporation that's been hemorraging money for a decade straight. On the plus side, I saved a lot of those old articles on my hard drive, and plan on "re-purposing" some of the content in another one of my long-term projects. EDIT EDIT: The Dallas Morning News, in addition to being total dicks about deleting Pegasus and firing me, was, I might add, a total dick to me and all but two of the candidates during the campaign. They had a raging hard-on for the one guy who was a total POS, who also happened to have the most money. They outright dismissed me and the other candidates because of our lack of funds. Their guy got walloped, by the way. Fuck the Dallas Morning News.

Link Numero Cinco - You can also purchase a physical copy of EXMORTUS on Amazon's Createspace. I've priced it to be affordable for any non-hobo budget.